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Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Lost and found chapter 2

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I wasn't cold like I usually am. Michael's left arm was under my neck, the front of his body pressed to my back his right arm over my chest and his right arm holding my shoulder. I could feel his lungs rising and falling and his breath warm on the back of my neck. He wasn't snoring but he was making a small sound, much softer than a snore but similar. It was comforting.

I could hear the wind hitting the windows and even though the heat was on it was obvious that it had gotten even colder outside. God I hate November! It used to be tolerable because of Thanksgiving but with the kids feeling the way they did even that had been ruined. Now it was just a cold, dreary month without even the charm of snow.

I gently pulled Michael's hand off of my shoulder and slid out of bed to go take a piss. I stopped at the thermostat and kicked it up a bit and closed the bathroom door so that the light wouldn't wake Michael. Geez, standing there peeing I realized that I missed him! He was twenty feet away and I missed him! It was a great fuck. When did getting fucked start feeling good? Part of it was that look that he got on his face. That, "is it okay, am I doing what you like" look. And he is a great kisser. Wonder where he learned that or if he's just a natural.

Oh God the boy! He won't be waking up in a warm house this morning. He's dead. No! Don't think about the boy! Later, you'll move heaven and earth but later! But not now, now you need to be with Michael. This guy could be the one and he needs you too.

Michael had rolled over onto his back. I lifted the covers and slid in next to him on my right side. I propped my head on my hand and looked down at him. He looked so peaceful and vulnerable. His brown hair was totally messed up and he was making little movements with his mouth. When my leg touched his he responded immediately and rolled toward me, kinda burying his face in my chest and wrapping his right arm over my hip. I bent my head and kissed his forehead, it was warm and dry. His hair smelled of shampoo. I wondered if he was a good lawyer. Probably was. Callin & Callin only hired the best.

Michael mumbled into my right nipple. "Whatsa time?"

I kissed him again. "It's okay Michael, it's only about five. When do you need to be at work?"

"Mmmmm, they'd like me to sleep at my desk." He held me tighter. "Wonderful last night."

I put my hand on his shoulder and bent to kiss his ear. "For me too." I smoothed his hair with my hand.

"You feel nice and warm." He said as he slid his right leg between my legs. "How did I go twenty-nine years without ever fucking anyone?" He raised his head and looked at me. "How fucking sick is that? How nuts do ya have to be to be afraid to make that total connection with someone?"

I bent down and kissed Michael again. "You're not sick. And for your first time out ya did a really great job."

Michael pulled my head down for another kiss. "We could get in a little more practice before work." He gently cupped my balls and then slowly moved his middle finger back towards my asshole.

Realizing that he was fully awake I laughed and pushed him over on his back. "Let's try a different way." I straddled his waist and bent down and kissed him again. "You'll like this and I got a feeling that I will too." Putting my hands behind my back I rolled a condom down Michael's cock and then lubed my butt. "Okay but remember don't get too carried away until I've had a chance to stretch. I positioned his cock at my asshole and slowly sank down on it while Michael was holding my balls and gently stroking my cock. The feeling was indescribable, even better than last night. As I sank down and his cock filled me and then passed over my prostate I almost shot my load. I put my hand over his to stop him from stroking my cock.

I took a deep breath. "Damn I wish I could explain how good it feels to have you in me."

"Feels pretty good for me too. It's like all hot, wet, tight and............total."

Michael was fucking slowly, steadily. I leaned down to kiss him and nuzzle his neck I kissed him lightly and then more deeply drawing the breath from his lungs. His cock felt like it was made of solid steel in my ass, he was totally, completely hard and his eyes were partially closed as he concentrated on fucking. He was slowly stroking my back as he fucked me, occasionally pulling me down for another kiss. All of the feelings that I was feeling were slowly beginning to concentrate on my cock and I knew that I could shoot at any time. Michael speed was increasing and I lifted myself up so that I was squatting over him rather than sitting on him, which allowed me to meet his upward thrusts. The first time I did it his eyes shot open and he made a little gasping sound.

I bent down so that my mouth was next to his ear. "Michael I want your cum in my ass. I want you to shoot your load inside of me. My ass is yours babe. Fuck it."

Michael gasped out a laugh. "You sure fuckin know what to say. Oh god I'm cumming! Oh fuck!" He was slamming his cock up into me and I started jerking off so that we'd cum about the same time.

"Man I'm shooting on your fucking chest!"


Michael is left handed and when he shaves he bends over and supports his body on his right hand while he shaves with his left. I'm standing watching him shave, he looks so skinny and so hot, with his cute little butt sticking out and his more than ample cock swinging free.

He turns and looks at me. "What? What?"

I walked over and wrapped my arms around his waist pulling him back against me and kiss the side of his neck. "Looking at you standing there shaving, well, I just thought how right that looked and god, how fucking right you feel." Michael squirmed in my arms twisting his head to the side.

"Jeff, you realize you've got a naked lawyer in your arms? Your other lawyers are gonna be jealous."

I slapped him on the butt. "You finish shaving. I'll be right back." I went into my closet and brought back a suit. "Okay, try these pants." I was holding the pants down and in front of me so that he could step into them.

"You're really determined that I wear your clothes aren't you."

"Well this way you won't have to go home and I get to spend more time with you. Besides, all that shit is just going to waste." Michael gave me a look. "Okay! It's also kinda hot, the thought that you're wearing my clothes."

"I don't have underwear on."

I smiled. "That's even better."

Michael stepped in the pants and I gently scooped up his cock and balls and lowered them into the slacks. "Michael, they look fucking great! Shit they look better on you than they do on me. I'll get a shirt and tie. Oh and shoes too."

He looked fantastic. It was a Brioni suit in a soft Glen Plaid with a white shirt and deep green almost black tie. "Fuck you're handsome." I was still in my bathrobe and leaning against the wall.

Michael came over to me and holding my face in his hands, gently kissed me. "You think that I'm handsome?" He slowly shook his head and then pressed the side of his face to mine. "They see this suit the people at the office will think I've been embezzeling."


"Michael, I still want you to represent the boy. I want you to make sure the cops don't just forget about this and if you have to I want private detectives."

He turned and looked at me. "You sure?" I gave him a look. "Okay, okay. Let me play devil's advocate. First of all if you want a lawyer to represent the boy, it probably should be a criminal attorney. Don't look at me like that. Wanna do a merger or an acquisition, I'm your guy but the only thing that I know about stuff like this is text book stuff." Michael took a bite of toast. "Then there's the whole idea about whether you want to get involved in this at all. Look Jeff, Callin & Callin are your attorneys. A big part of that is taking the broad view of things and keeping you out of potential trouble."

"So I should just forget about this?" I knew that my voice was getting too loud and Michael got a weird look on his face. I pulled him to me and wrapped my arms around him. "I know, I know, devil's advocate." I kissed his forehead.

Michael's voice was very quiet, his chin was on my shoulder. "I probably shouldn't even be talking about this yet............. but what about us? What I mean is, that if, and I know you don't wanna make that commitment yet but if, we were to become, you know like boyfriends, I think we ought to keep our work lives as separate as possible."

Michael pulled his head back and looked at me with a look that was heart wrenching. "Jeff, you're this wealthy guy. I can't come even close to matching what you got and if I'm gonna keep any sense of self-worth I need to keep my job separate."

I knew that he was right. Not that I was going to abandon the boy, but if Michael and I did become boyfriends I could understand how he'd need the independence he spoke of.

I pulled Michael in for a deep kiss. "You're right. I still want the firm to represent the boy but I'll leave the choice of the lawyer up to you. As far as the boyfriend stuff goes, well, you're right about that too. But Michael, I'm like the most boring guy on earth. My idea of a good time is to stay home and have a nice meal, a little wine and cuddle with a handsome young attorney." Michael was smiling broadly. "We don't have to do anything that you feel uncomfortable with." I stroked the side of his face. "I won't push you Michael and I'll never put you into the position of feeling like a poor relation. Cause Michael, that just isn't how I think, so we can take this as slow as you want." I let go of him and poured myself another cup of coffee. "The other thing is how I interact with your firm now. You think I should tell Joe?" I was referring to Joe Callin the senior partner in the firm and the guy I always talked to. "You think we should tell him?"

Michael frowned in concentration. "Not yet, let's be sure ourselves of how we feel. Once we're sure of that then if we decide we want to be together then definitely yes we should tell him, and probably do it together."

He got a totally weird look on his face and then dropped his chin to his chest. "Oh fuck! Oh fuck I forgot!" He looked up at me.

"His name is Scott, or was." Michael pressed the balls of his hands into his eyes. "How could I forget that?" He looked up at me. "It was the only thing he said at the hospital before he died. The nurse kept asking him his name and he finally said Scott."

It was like somehow the body of the dead boy was being touched with a wand, a magical wand that imparted this missing bit of humanity, his name. I pictured it spreading across and through him, restoring, in some way, his status as a member of the human race.

I wrapped my arms around Michael and held him by his belt while I rested my face next to his. I said the name, "Scott......... Scott," as if testing it for authenticity. It felt right.

"Pick a good attorney.......someone who never quits...... a real bulldog."


Rosie brought me a cup of coffee. If I had asked her to bring me a cup she would have given me a fifteen minute lecture on how she wasn't a waitress, or a servant but my assistant and that she shouldn't be expected to wait on me and actually I agreed with her.
She brought me coffee when she wanted information, information best gathered in a heart to heart talk.

"So boss, whatcha think of Michael? You guys gonna see each other again? Ralph says he's skinny. He skinnier than you?"

I laughed. "Rosie, he's not skinny! Actually we're the same size. He wore one of my suits to work today." I glanced up at her quickly and she was rolling her eyes. She sat her ample butt back in the chair and smiled. I smiled too. "So he didn't have to go home and then to work. We could have more time together."

"He was a straight A student at University of Chicago, the boys smart. Course if he wears your suit to work he's got to return it, doesn't he?"

"You've been digging Rosie. Whatcha find out?"

"Well boss, I started to dig and then I figured that if Michael turns out to be the right guy for you that then maybe I shouldn't be invading his privacy. Ya understand? Like he might not be so cool with that. Anyway I figured you'd be doin plenty of diggin on your own if you understand my meaning."

I rested my chin on my hand. "You're right. Let's make him off limits. Besides he's been pretty open with me." I was thinking, as I had been all morning, of Michael's cock flopping back and forth in my suit pants.

"Okay Rosie, the real estate guy. What's happening?"

Rosie shifted her weight in the chair. "He wants $23,500 an acre and I told him we'd give em nineteen grand."

"You think he'll split the difference?"

"Boss, I ain't splittin no damn difference! Besides he's got nobody else gives a damn about that land."

"Rosie, how the hell do you know that?"

Rosie laughed uproariously her whole body shaking with it. She rubbed the tears out of her eyes. "Boss I gotta have some secrets." When she settled down. "Why you want that land so bad anyway? What you gonna do with it?"

I put my feet up on the corner of my desk. "I'm not sure. Maybe nothing. When my grandfather was alive, before I was born, they lived in Chicago and on the weekends he and my grandmother would drive out into the country. Well in those days if you drove fifty miles from the city you were in the middle of nowhere. So grandpa would drive till he found what he consider to be a good intersection, now in those days that would be two twolane highways crossing in the middle of farm land, and he'd buy all four corners if he could. Course it was the depression and just about everything was for sale. Well, you had to be patient but if you were willing to wait twenty years you had a tremendous return." I took my feet off of the desk and took a sip of coffee. "All that land we've got in Illinois we got just that way."

I thought of the way that Michael felt when I kissed him goodbye this morning, the muscles in his back as I wrapped my arms around him, how warm and sweet his breath was, the feeling of his cock pressing against my leg.

Rosie was holding a rolled up magazine to her mouth and speaking into it. "Earth to Mr. Palmer. Earth to Mr. Palmer." She was laughing. "You was thinking about him. Don't tell me you weren't! Oh boss, you might just as well roll over and play dead, cause that boy has got you." She was right.


All of a sudden I was flooded with doubts. Maybe yesterday was just, well just an accident, two people coming together under totally weird circumstances, who just happened to connect. Maybe I was just a one night stand and he was already trying to think of the best way out of it. Maybe he was just too freaked by the differences in our financial situations and didn't want to bother with it.

At three o'clock I called his cell phone.



"Oh god, Jeff! Wow it's been a fucking day!"

"Michael, are ya coming over tonight?"

"Yeah Jeff but I can't have dinner there. I've got a dinner meeting with Brian Caldwell. He's the guy I got ya to represent the boy, Scott." He hesitated a moment. "But afterwards, I thought that I would, I mean if you want me to, I thought I'd come over, about eight. Would that be okay?"

"Yeah Michael, that'd be great. Michael, pull your car over by the garage, the third door, it's empty. I mean it's really cold out you might as well pull in. Michael? You there?"

"Fuck I missed you today Jeff! Even as nuts as it's been around here today I keep thinking of what it was like waking up with you this morning. How warm you felt." Michael was silent for a moment. "Fuck Jeff, I gotta go! I'll see ya later baby."

"Bye babe."


I pulled open the back door and Michael was standing there, the collar of his tan overcoat turned up against the cold, his breath visible.

"Come in, come in, Michael." I stepped aside and then took his overcoat when he took it off.

"Damn it's getting cold out there." We were kinda just looking at each other, both feeling uncertain.

Michael was looking a little shy and while I was feeling a bit the same way, I found my hand reaching out and taking the back of his neck and pulling him to me. It was almost in slow motion the way that his head tilted to the left and mine to the right and then our lips came together and then our hands were everywhere, touching, exploring, unzipping and then we were on the floor of the kitchen tearing our clothes off and never breaking the kiss, never wanting to separate for even an instant and then pulling everything out of a cabinet looking for cooking oil and then the sudden pain of penetration and finally he was inside of me, taking me again and still the kiss, still the feel of his tongue in my mouth and the sound of his balls as they slapped against my ass and then cum was everywhere, my chest, his chest, my ass, his face, and the Canola oil was spilt and we were laughing, laughing and exhausted. Two naked men lying on the kitchen floor in each others arms, clothes thrown into a pile in the corner by the refrigerator, laughing and telling each other that they loved each other. I did a quick cleanup of the kitchen floor and then took Michael by the hand and we walked naked to the bathroom.

In the shower I took Michael's face in my hands and held it inches from mine. "This day was perfect shit! All that I could fucking think of all day was you and did you feel about me like I feel about you and what the hell was I gonna do if you didn't. I want us to be a couple. I'll understand if you're nervous about moving in right away and if you need to keep parts of our work lives separate, but we need to be a us. Okay?"

The water from the shower was pouring down over both of us and running in sheets off of Michael's head. I started to laugh and pulled him out from under the shower. "I really don't wanna drown ya." He blinked several times and the green flecks in his eyes flashed.

Michael raised his arms and wrapped them around my back. He held me tightly and lightly rested his chin on my shoulder and then rubbed his face against mine.

When he spoke his voice was soft with an almost faraway quality to it. "I love you. I guess that in a way, I have for a long time." He continued rubbing his face against mine and then pulled his head back and kissed me, his eyes were closed and his head tilted to one side.
Finally he broke the kiss and put his chin on my shoulder again. Our bodies were pressed together, our cocks next to each other. He sighed and laid his head on my shoulder while he stroked my back slowly. "I'm afraid. It's a big step." He lifted his head and looked at me. "But I'm more afraid when I'm not with you. You're right, we need to be a us."

We turned off the shower and dried each other off. Then I grabbed a blanket from the closet and Michael and I laid down on the sofa in the living room, the fire was blazing in the fireplace, supplying the only light in the room. We laid together on the sofa wrapped in the blanket, talking softly and watching the flames.

My left leg was over Michael's left leg and I was half lying on top of him my face next to his. "You're happy with this Caldwell guy?" My mouth was inches from his and I kissed him lightly. Michael's left arm was around me and he was rubbing my back.

His hand came up and pulled my head down to his shoulder. "He's the best." Michael laughed. "Ya know, I don't think that I've ever seen him smile. That's a good sign in a criminal lawyer." He turned his head slightly and kissed my forehead. "He's also a stud!"

I lifted my head up and gave him a look. He pulled it back down and turned his head toward mine, when he spoke it was a whisper. "Don't worry, I'm a married man and sooooooo much in love."

I kissed his ear and then stuck my tongue in it. Michael twisted his head first away and then back towards me. "Holy fuck that feels good!"

"Nobody ever stuck their tongue in your ear?"

"Nope, never." Michael ran his fingers through my hair. "I never let em get that close." He pulled my face to his and kissed me hard and deep, exploring my mouth with his tongue. "But I want you to get close. I want you to be a part of me. I want us to start wondering where one of us ends and the other begins." He raised his head and turned to me. "Ya know what turned me on, what really turned me on? Yesterday when you woke up, well I guess you went to pee but later back in bed you ran your hand up my leg and squeezed my butt and then while you were talking to me you just kinda held my balls." He laid his head back down and kinda grinned at me. "I felt so yours, so much like we were, like you said, an us. I want us to be that way, to be able to touch each other, for us both to be a part of that, us." He turned and looked at me again. "Cause Jeff, I really need you to touch me when you want to, cause I don't want there to be any restraints, I want us to belong to each other totally."

The flickering light coming from the fireplace danced around the walls of the room, casting and dissolving shadows. My fathers portrait on the mantle was in shadows and I wondered briefly what he'd think to see his son in the arms of a man. I guess that when I really thought about it, I knew that he wouldn't care. He had been a kind of an outcast his whole life, at least in the sense of the business he chose to start and the way he lived. I don't ever recall him seeming to give a damn what people thought.

I laid my head on Michael's upper chest feeling the solidity of it. It felt so good to finally have someone to share the burden and Michael was strong. It wasn't a burden of work or poverty but a burden of the spirit and it had weighed so heavily on me for so long. I hadn't realized how hard it had been just being gay but now that I had someone to share that with I was beginning to understand what I had been going through.

I stuck my tongue out and licked Michael's nipple. "Oh fuck that feels good!" He put his hand behind my head and gently pressed it towards his nipple. "Oh god Jeff! Do it again."

I looked up at him. "You've got big nipples. Those are usually sensitive."

Michael covered his nipples with his hands. "Whadya mean they're big?

I smiled at him. "Not like a woman's nipples but, well, more pronounced than big. I love nipples like this." I pushed his fingers away and took another lick. Michael moaned. I held his left nipple between my lips and gently flicked the tip of it with my tongue. He began to twist and raise his chest as if the pleasure were almost too great to bear.

"Oh fuck Jeff, damn that feels good!"

I reached down and circled his balls and cock with my hand, he was rock hard. Michael looked up at me and smiled. "Any chance you'd like to get fucked again?"

I ran my left hand from Michael's cock up his abdomen, to his firm stomach and hard, hairy chest. I smiled down at him. "Ya know I'm gonna become addicted to this?" I swung my left leg over Michael's waist and positioned his cock at my ass. I lubed my butt with spit and then slowly moved down on his dick. My hands were on his shoulders and I was concentrating on dealing with the initial pain as I was being stretched.

Michael had a concerned look on his face. "Jeff, go slow, don't hurt yourself."

"I'm okay babe. I just need a second." The feeling of his cock entering me and then slowly moving up into me was beyond description. It wasn't only a physical feeling but a very emotional experience too, a feeling of possession that was both extraordinarily erotic but also very comforting.

Just as Michael's cock was hitting bottom he reached up and pulled my rock hard cock down and let it slap back up and hit my stomach. "Oh fuck Michael! I'm so close, so fucking close!" The top of his cock was exerting a lot of pressure against my prostate.

As soon as the moment passed I bent forward and kissed him. "Okay let's try this now."
I started rubbing and gently pulling Michael's nipples. The reaction was immediate, his head went flying back, his chest went up and his hips thrust forward. It felt like his dick was gonna come out of my mouth.

"Ohhh Jeff! Holy crap!" Then when he saw the look of pain on my face he rested his hands on my thighs and asked. "Babe, you okay? Those are hotwired directly to my cock. I probably shoulda warned ya."

"Guess I need to treat those a little more gently." Michael was still gently fucking me with very short strokes, almost as if his body was doing it by itself.

"Oh yeah Michael! Just like that, that's so fucking good!" My knees and legs were straddling his hips while I moved gently counter to his thrusts. I started raising myself up higher and moving down on his cock harder while I balanced myself with one hand on the back of the sofa. Each thrust was bringing us closer to cumming and I start to very slowly jerk my cock.

Michael reached forward and circled my balls with his right hand and gently played with them. "Oh fuck Michael. Ya got me so fucking close man! Yeah, play with those balls!" His thrusts were coming much faster and harder now, he was slamming up into me.

"Jeff, I'm gonna fucking cum! Fuck you got a sweet ass! Oh fucking yes, yes!" I could feel Michael shooting in my ass and it triggered my own orgasm.

My first shot almost hit Michael on the chin, the rest shot onto his chest.


We were standing at the foot of our bed. I guess I really did now consider it our bed. Michael was kissing the side of my neck. His words were spoken softly, tenderly. "Jeff, you make me so happy. And no, it's not just the sex, you're bringing out feeling in me I didn't know I was capable of."

I pulled Michael slowly into bed and wrapped him around me his cock pressed against my ass, his right arm around my chest.

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