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Friday, September 28, 2007

Dark Side of the Moon part 1

The Dark Side of the Moon 1

I come from a big family, although I’m not big, and I go to a big high school. I just started this year but all of my brothers and my sister all go there. My sister Karen, who’s seventeen is a senior just like her twin, my brother James. Actually it’s James junior because he was named after my dad. My other two brothers are Chase and Connor, they’re 15 years old in Chase’s case and 16 for Connor, they’re both Juniors. They’re all really great.

Mom and Dad didn’t waste much time having kids once they got started. I’m kind of an afterthought cause I’m only 14 and who knows maybe I’m even adopted cause I’m not like my brothers. They’re all big jock types and I’m, well pretty skinny and pretty nerdy.

One thing about being surrounded by brothers who are all big is that at least you feel protected. I always did, nobody messed with me because they knew that they’d have my brothers to deal with. That’s almost sick funny now.

I didn’t know what to do. This was after all only the second week of school and I really felt that I should be going to my classes no matter what had happened but I quick mirror check made me drop that idea. Nobody was gonna look at that face and think that everything was okay. While I stood there clinging to the washbasin of the boy’s bathroom my main worry was whether or not I’d be physically able to make it out of the building much less home.

Tradition, it was a school tradition. Everything hurt, my face hurt where they had hit me, my throat hurt from their cocks and my butt hurt from the same thing. It was tradition. That’s what I heard them say. Initiate the freshman. What’s a little humiliation? Although it wasn’t a tradition that I was familiar with I was pretty sure that this had gone too far. The fact was that I wasn’t so sure that I’d live. Well, that’s probably melodramatic but I didn’t feel good. One thing that I was sure of was that I didn’t want to be seen so that I could be questioned to have the whole fucking world know that I had just been forced to swallow a guys cum and still had another guys cum seeping slowly out of my ass.

I peeked out into the hallway. The bell had rung what seemed like a long time ago and the halls were empty. It’s really strange how quiet a school can be at a time like this. At the end of the hall was a door to the outside and it wasn’t a main entrance. That was good and bad. It was good because I was less likely to be seen and bad because I’d have to at least walk around the corner of the building to find my bike and the longer that I was out there the more likely that I’d get caught by a teacher who’d want to ask a lot of questions that I just couldn’t deal with right now.

I moved as quickly as I could down the hallway. My asshole ached and burned and I could feel something trickling down the inside of my thigh. That could be cum or it could be blood, whatever it was it wasn’t good. Please God, just let me make it to my bike. I made it to the door and slipped outside. It was cooler than I remembered and looked like rain but of course my jacket was in my locker but that didn’t seem important. I pressed myself against the warmth of the building for a moment and looked around to get my bearings.

I finally decided that I needed to go to the left, walk to the end of the building and turn left again, that should put me right by the bike parking area. As I was limping along I realized that I had another problem, dizziness. It seemed to be better if I didn’t try and look too far ahead of me but rather concentrated on the ground right in front of me but a few times I had to stop and lean against the building and then it seemed like I would almost pass out for a couple of minutes. I wasn’t sure about that but it just seemed like sometime I felt like I just woke up and that time had passed. Eventually I made it to the end of the building and sticking just my head out looked around the corner. All clear and my bike was only about fifty feet away.

I walked over to it doing everything that I could to control my dizziness and then knelt down and after a couple of false starts managed to work the combination. I tried to swing my leg over the seat but my asshole started screaming that it didn’t want me to do that and it also seemed to trigger a renewed surge of whatever was leaking down my leg. I suppose that I could have looked to see what it was but I really didn’t want to know at that point.

Okay, so if I can’t ride it I’ve got to push it. At least it’ll give me something to lean on while I walk home. Fortunately we only live about six block from the school but unfortunately most of that six blocks is up hill. I decide that the only way that I’m gonna get there is to begin and I do and while riding would sure have been faster it’s still good that I’ve got something to hold onto and I feel less dizzy than when I was just walking.

My dad is an engineer and my mom is a paralegal so they both make decent money and we have a nice house. It’s no nicer than any of the other houses in the neighborhood but it’s still nice. My oldest brother Jimmy and his twin Karen both have their own bedrooms, then Connor and Chase share a big bedroom and I have the smallest one but I have it to myself.

I get a couple of strange looks from neighbors but nobody said anything about my face or clothes or looked like they were gonna freak and I finally made it home. I put my bike in the garage and then very slowly climbed the stairs to the second floor where I went into the bathroom to check out the damage.

Geez, it looks so much worse than it did at school! There’s no way that I’m gonna be able to hide this from anyone, for some reason it never occurred to me that it wasn’t something that I had to hide and shouldn’t hide. I wiped the blood off of my face with a wet towel and then realized that I had just made a big mess and I was going to rinse the towel but then somehow I just seemed to forget about it. I gently opened my belt and pulled down my pants and boxers. I reached between my legs and felt a sticky fluid. When I looked at my hand it was coated in blood. Somehow this didn’t surprise me and didn’t even seem like that big of a deal. I decided to just pull my pants up and go to my bedroom and lie down. I was getting hit with these waves of fatigue like it was impossible to keep my eyes open.

I didn’t want to get blood on my bed and I decided that I’d throw an old wool blanket over it but the thought must have left my mind because I ended up just easing down onto the bed and closing my eyes.

I’m not actually sure that I slept. It felt like something different than sleep. It almost seemed like I was asleep but I could still hear everything around me. It was really weird and when I began to relive…….”it”…….I tried to just wake myself up or whatever. I just didn’t want to go through that again in my head even though on one level I had never stopped reliving it.

I heard a car door slam and also heard the arguing and laughing voices that could only belong to my brothers. I occurred to me in an offhand way that if they saw me like this they were gonna freak and probably start killing people so I figured that I would try to clean myself up a bit. I swung my legs over the bed slowly and fought the dizziness.

Their voices had reached the second floor and I could just begin to make them out.

“You see the fucking look……….that………..kids face? Man that was sooo……” That sounded like Connor. “………fucking cool.”

“………….made him strip…………..about shit…………..” That was my oldest brother Jimmy, well actually Jim to his friends and my dad but to the rest of us he was Jimmy. He was laughing really loud.

“Fucking tradition man! Why’d he get so fucking scared? We didn’t…………….hurt……….” Chase was laughing a lot. “Looked so fucking weird with his underwear over his jeans.”

Then Jimmy’s voice again. “Okay settle down we don’t want Robbie or the rents hearing about this.” Jimmy was always in charge and kinda kept a lid on the rest of us.

They went on talking but I was too stunned to make any sense of it. I knew from what I’d heard that they’d done to another kid basically what had been done to me, maybe and only maybe without the violence. And in a funny way it really was like they had done it to me. I mean I knew they hadn’t but reality seemed somehow warped and it’s like those two things crashed together in my mind and merged.

My door suddenly opened and Jimmy was standing there looking huge and threatening and it was like somebody pushed the adrenalin button and my body went into panic mode. He looked, well, worried. “Robbie! You’re home.” My two other brothers appeared behind him. Jimmy must have finally taken a good look at me because he said, “Robbie, what the fuck happened?”

My head hurt like hell and I began to wonder if what happened to me was something that was supposed to happen, was something that happened to all guys my age because of people like my brothers. In my mind they had pretty much become no different than the kids who raped me. After all they had just done basically the same thing. I would have bet my life that this was something that they would never have done. They were always so protective of me, so kind but obviously whatever I had thought about them I was wrong. They were people I didn’t know, people who, obviously, were capable of anything and all of a sudden I felt so feral, so alone and needing to fight for my own life.

My sense of terror was complete and I screamed at them as loud as I could, “Get the fuck out of my room!!”

Jimmy got an odd look on his face and started walking towards me. I grabbed the first thing that I could reach, my portable radio and threw it at him as hard as possible. He ducked and it smashed into the wall. I screamed again. “I know what you fucking did! Get the fuck out of my room! Get out!” Jimmy’s face seemed to crumble.

He held up his hands and said, “Robbie, please, just calm down I wanna………….”

I threw the lamp the plug ripping from the wall. Since it was mostly glass it shattered when it hit the wall and sprayed them with glass shards. I screamed again, “Get fucking out now!!!!”

I grabbed a heavy solid glass souvenir from Disney World that Jimmy knew was important to me. I was about to throw it when he ducked quickly out the door and closed it after him but he kept trying to talk to me through the closed door.

I hobbled over to my dresser and using every once of strength that I had moved it in front of the door. My foot slipped on something greasy and when I looked down I saw that it was blood so I kicked off my shoes so that I didn’t fall. My brothers were still trying to talk to me through the door but nothing they were saying was registering. I just knew that I had to protect myself from them.

They’re three big guys and I knew that they’d be able to force the door open even with the dresser there so I began pushing my full size bed in front of the dresser. That took a while and even then I knew it wouldn’t be enough so I wedged the two nightstands between the bed and the wall. Now if they pushed on the door they’d never be able to move it unless they could move the wall too. I felt safe, for the moment but I could feel my strength going fast and there were moments when the room was spinning wildly. I knew that I needed help.

The thing is that I didn’t know what to do. One part of my brain was telling me that this was an easy question, you go either to the cops or the hospital but somehow my brain wasn’t dealing with that question well. So I decided to ask one of the two people that I had left to trust. I picked up the cordless phone in my room and called my dad. They had to page him and when he came on the line and said hello he sounded annoyed.


“Dad, it’s Robbie.”

His voice got softer. “Robbie? Son, are you okay? You never call here.” When I looked towards the door my dresser seemed to merge with the wall, like a drawing that someone smeared with their finger.

I sat down on the bed because I was pretty sure that my legs were gonna give out. “Dad I wanted to ask you about rape. Do you think if someone is raped they should call the police or go to the hospital?” These seemed like a perfectly normal questions at the time and it didn’t enter my head that he might not think so. I thought I was being subtle.

“Rape?” His voice was very loud and I began to wonder if this was such a good idea. “Robbie, are your brother’s there?”

Even to me my voice sounded far away. “There on the other side of the door but they can’t get me I pushed the furniture in front of the door. Don’t worry they can’t get in.” This seemed really important now because I felt myself failing. “But the rape thing, the police or the hospital, which would you do?”

He sounded……..odd. “Robbie, listen to me! I need to talk to your brothers!”

That cinched it for me, he was a part of the whole thing. I pushed the button and disconnected the call. Then I pressed the button for my mom’s office.

When she answered I said, “Hi mom.” I laid back slowly onto the bed while I held the phone and things began to spin.

“Hi, Sweetheart. To what do I owe the honor of hearing from you when you could be watching TV?” I could still hear my brothers talking on the other side of the door mostly arguing.

I looked around the room and it seemed to have a black edge to it like night was trying to creep in. “I just wanted to ask you a question about rape………..for a friend. If you knew someone had been raped would you call the cops or the hospital?”

“Oh, God, Robbie who do you know that’s been raped?”

“Mom it’s just a question.” The black was creeping further into the room and was licking at the edges of my bed.

“The cops! Robbie, rape is a crime and the police will call the hospital. Get your friend to call the cops and do it now!” I could hear my brothers running up and down the stairs.


“I will I’ll do it right now. Mom?”

“Yes, Honey?” My brothers were beginning to push at the door but I knew that there was no way they’d get it open.

“The dark is coming into my room………..and the thing is……….well the thing is that I might not make it. I love you.” Actually I wanted to reassure her and I thought that I had but she didn’t act like it. She was yelling my name but it seemed so far away.

The phone in my hand was shifting from being one phone to being two phones and I didn’t always push the right button but finally I disconnected and dialed 911. It took me a couple of tries but I finally made it. A woman answered and I simply said, “I’ve been raped.” The phone seemed to float out of my hands as the black rose in a wave to cover my bed.

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