Lost and found chapter 9

When it's spring in the Midwest the thing that I'm always aware of is the fecundity of the earth. Even if you never leave the house the smell of the earth, its richness and fertility are like a humming in the background. The land is coming alive before your eyes. This morning a large part of that hum was the chirping of birds.

I was lying in bed with Michael who had had a restless night. Finally around four he fell into a deep sleep and now at six the sunlight and the birds hunting for mates were threatening to wake him up.

I slid out of bed as carefully as possible and walked to the windows and pulled the drapes closed. That helped with the sunlight but not the birds. Well, you can't control everything. I grabbed my bathrobe and quietly left the room. A nurse was sitting outside of the door reading a magazine. She looked up at me.

"Is Mr. Worthington okay?" She asked softly.

I kept my voice low. "Yes, he's fine but he didn't really get to sleep until around four so we probably should leave him alone for awhile. Is there any medication that he needs to take?"

"Is he in pain?"

I shoved my hands into the pockets of my robe. "If he is he's hiding it well. He didn't talk about pain. Would he be in pain? I mean I never thought to ask him...........but surely he would have said." God I'm stupid! Of course he's in pain! How the fuck wouldn't he be in pain, everything's broken?

I looked at the nurse in panic. "So what do you give em if he's in pain? I mean like pills, shots?"

The nurse stood up and took my arm. "If he's asleep he's not in pain. Later if we need to we'll give him something." She smiled at me. "Stop worrying we won't let anything happen to him." I gotta get a grip.

Something occurred to me as I was walking away and I stopped and turned back to the nurse. "I'll give him his sponge bath."

She opened her mouth, closed it and then smiled. I forced myself not to grin. "He's very shy!"

She went back to her magazine but muttered. "Yes, Mr. Palmer." Fuck it! The whole world thinks that I'm a perv anyway.

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I was sitting crosslegged on the bed next to Michael. He was naked under the covers and I was wearing boxers and a tee shirt. There was a tray straddling his lap with breakfast on it, scrambled eggs, hash browns, bacon and toast. I had basically the same thing on a tray next to me. I was watching Michael eat and kinda picking at my own food.

I smiled at him. "You're doing pretty good."

He took a bite of toast, looked down, then up and grinned. "You gonna do this every day?"

"What?"

He glanced over at the nightstand. "It's ten o'clock in the morning. You're usually at work by eight."

"Keep eating!" I ate a piece of my bacon, I guess to show him how. God I'm a fucking idiot. "Besides I gotta give you a bath."

"Jeff, you can't do this every day. You've got a company to run, Rosie needs you."

I laughed. "The only thing that Rosie needs is permission and I can give her that from here." I reached over and lightly held the side of his face in my hand. "I want to do this. I especially want to bathe you." He smiled at me and I smiled back.

"You are such a perv! You know that I can't move so you wanna have your way with me."

I nodded while I chewed. "Something like that." We had kinda planned on having sex last night but ended up holding hands and falling asleep, at least I did. Michael slept a little and then fidgeted and at one point even seemed to be crying. I didn't know what to do so I just held his hand. I know, it doesn't seem like enough.

He laughed. "Cool! Sooooo like what are ya gonna do to me?"

"Nothing until you finish your breakfast. You know that it takes calories to repair all the damage that's been done to your body. So eat!"

He took a bite of eggs and spoke while he chewed. "Yes, Mom." He put his fork down and said. "Oh fuck! My parents...............I didn't tell them! Jeff, what am I gonna do? My mom will be soooo pissed!"

"Calm down, Babe! You want me to call em. Wait...........why tell them at all?"

"I gotta tell em!"

"Why? What can they do? Are you gonna heal any faster knowing that your mom is worried sick about you?"

"Jeff, you can say that but it doesn't matter. If I don't tell them she will totally freak when she does find out. My dad would probably understand but mom would go into orbit." My relationship with Michael's parents was okay bordering on good. It wasn't the life they would have picked for him but they could deal with the reality. I knew how they felt. I liked them. They were hard working straightforward people who wanted the best for their son.

"Michael, give it a week. Cause as soon as your mom hears she's gonna be up here and in a week you're gonna look lots better."

"You don't think that I should call my mom?"

"I'm just saying lets wait.........just a little while."

"What do I tell her when she finds out how long I waited?"

"Tell her that I wouldn't let you call, that I didn't want her to worry. I'll back you up. She can be mad at me."

"No........that wouldn't be fair. I mean I think that you're right about waiting but I'm not laying it off on you. She wouldn't believe it anyway."

He finished up his breakfast like a good boy and then glanced around the room.

"Did you lock the door?"

"Yep."

"Then I want my bath." He looked up at me. "You do understand that by bath I mean sex?"

"Okay but before I get you dirty I wanna get you clean."

He looked at me with some trepidation. "What are you gonna do?"

I climbed out of bed very aware of my erection tenting out the front of my boxers. "Soap and water, basic stuff, nothing to be afraid of. I promise not to hurt you." I walked around the bed wrapped him in my arms and kissed him deeply and marveled for the million time that he was mine. "I think that maybe I can make you feel really good."

As our kiss broke his mouth followed mine reluctant to separate. He called after me. "You always make me feel good."

I went into the bathroom and came back with a plastic pan about half filled with warm water. Soap towels and wash clothes were under my arm.

I looked at him and grinned. "I was figuring on starting at the top and working my way down."

"Wouldn't it be better if I stood? I mean I've got the one good leg and then everything would be more accessible." He glanced up at me and saw me smiling. "You shit head you're fucking enjoying this! I gotta stand here and let you wash my ass and you're fucking enjoying it."

I leaned over the bed and kissed him. "Okay..........I am but not for bad reasons, at least I don't think that there bad. It's just that I get to do this for you." I wasn't sure how to put this into words but I knew that I could easily fuck it up.

"It's like a gift really, not from me to you but from you to me. Michael, you don't need me to do this. The nurse could come in and do it. But your letting me do it is a gift. It's an opportunity to show you how much I love you. I don't mind washing your ass. There's nothing about you that's dirty or bad to me. I love every part of you at all times." I reached out and ran the back of my knuckles over his face. "I know that you feel uncomfortable and probably exposed and vulnerable.........I would too. I wanna show you that no matter what....that you can count on me."

He gave me a crooked grin. "You talk good."

I smiled. "I gotta. I got this lover who is sooooo difficult and such a pain in the butt and I always have to answer his lame-ass questions so that I just gotta be good at talking."

"Smartass! Help me outta bed. This'll work better with me standing."

With my help Michael slid gently from the bed and stood next to it naked. My hands were on his waist and shoulder steadying him as he leaned back against the bed. He looked at my tee shirt and boxers.

"It'd help if you were naked too. Maybe I wouldn't feel so exposed."

"You mean you wanna look at my dick?"

Michael smiled. "Yeah.........something like that."

I stripped off and tossed my underwear on the bed. My cock was pointing at the ceiling. Michael reached out tentatively and wrapped his hand around my cock.

He looked up at me and smiled. "I've really missed this guy."

"Lemme clean you up and then he's all yours, whatever you want you've got."

I soaped up one of the washcloths and starting with his face running the soapy washcloth slowly over his forehead. I said, "Close your eyes." He did and I washed his whole face and then rinsed out the washcloth and cleaned off the soap. He hated it, I would too but he stood for it. He lifted his good arm and I washed his armpit while he made a face at me. I lifted his bad arm and did the same. I washed his chest and stomach slowly and carefully and then dried them. His cock was hard but I ignored it and lifted his balls and washed them and then his cock. He told me not to spend too much time on it because he'd cum if I did so I didn't.

I got down on my knees and kissed his cock. He yelped, "Unnnnn! I'll cum!"

"Calm down. I just couldn't resist. You know it's not like I've had a string of callboys running through here while you were in the hospital. I'm horny too."

I washed his legs and then washed the part of his good foot that I could reach. I stood up and said, "Okay let's get you turned around." He grunted but we did a slow pivot thing that left him facing the bed.

Michael's back was a broad vee that tapered to a narrow waist and the prettiest butt on the planet. I soaped down the back of his neck and then washed his whole back in broad strokes and cleaned up the soap with a fresh damp washcloth.

"Oh now the good part."

Michael said, "Jeff, I can sense you laughing."

"No you can't."

"I can."

"As a patient you sure are a pain in the butt. Speaking of butts," I separated his muscular ass cheeks with the warm soapy cloth, "yours is a work of art."

He gasped, "Holy fuck that feels good!" I couldn't resist and slid my finger into his chute.

It was my turn to gasp, "Ohhhhhh damn!"

Michael is one tough guy. He'll fight with anyone about anything and nobody, including me, gets him to do anything that he doesn't want to do but when he wants to be topped he gets this aura about him and makes a soft little sound in the back of his throat that taps into my brain and floods me with emotions and need.

I can feel my hands shaking. I ask him, "Can I? You don't have to say yes, Michael. I wouldn't hurt you for the world."

"I need you, Jeff!" There's a panic in his voice.

"You've got me...........forever! You want me to do this?"

"Jeff, if you don't fucking do it I'm gonna cum before you get in me!"

I line up behind him and push my cock down so that I can line it up with where it needs to go. Moving forward I touch it to his asshole and he moans. There's so many places on his body that can't be touched but finally I move my right arm around him and hold him with the palm of my hand against his abs. My cock moves slowly forward and I penetrate him slightly and then back off. Then move forward again and move about an inch into his hot ass.

He gasps and shoots his load his asshole clenching the head of my cock like a pulsing vice. His whole body is vibrating and he cries out. "Oh fuck, oh fuck!"

I'm still holding him tight and I whisper in his ear, "Guess you were horny." I kiss the back of his neck and move my hand down to his cock. It's still pretty hard and getting harder. "Ohhhhh you are a horny boy!"

"Put it in, Jeff."

"I haven't taken it out."

"All the way! Come on! Fuck me! Please, Jeff...........I really need this."

"So do I Mikey, so do I."

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The room had been cleaned up and we had been cleaned up and drained. Michael was tucked into bed and I was dressed and about to head out to the office. I climbed into bed with him he turned to face me and his beautiful hazel eyes had a sleepy post coital quality to them. I laid my head next to his and stared into his eyes.

I moved my head an inch and kissed him. My voice was a whisper. "Hot man."

His good hand reached out and touched my forehead. "You called me Mikey."

I stopped to think. "Oh........yeah...........I guess that I did. Sorry, I didn't think about it."

He smiled at me in almost a vulnerable little boy way. "I liked it." He turned his head and looked at the ceiling. "Dumb huh?"

I put my hand on his neck and pulled him into another kiss. "Nothing about you is dumb."

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In the driveway Paul held open the door of the limo and mumbled a good morning even though we were approaching noon. The guy riding shotgun looked like a hundred miles of bad road. The suit and tie somehow didn't work for him. I could picture him in some sort of uniform with a gun in his hand. I nodded at him and he nodded back.

As we pulled out of the driveway the telephone in the car rang, it was Fred Garagan.

"I think that I have the answers, Mr. Palmer or at least some of them."

"Tell me."

"While Mr. Parthing did indeed hit your...........friend, but he didn't kill that boy that you found."

""How do you know?"

"Mr. Parthing is...............staying with me."

"Has he been.............hurt?"

"No sir! Mr. Parthing has seen the error of his ways. I'm a little surprised that you don't recognize the name. He was your ex mother-in-laws gardener."

"Oh you're fucking kidding! Why didn't I think of that bitch? What was he after?"

"It seems that your ex-wife was concerned that with Mr. Worthington in the picture that if anything should happen to you that your children might not get all that she felt that she was entitled to."

"Was she going to make sure that something happened to me?"

"Ahh.......that has yet to be determined. It's possible but we may never know."

"Will he put this all in writing?"

"If we move him. I told him that we would be willing to move him to his sister's place in Idaho. He would need enough to buy a trailer and a few other things."

"Do you know Prendergast and Thane?"

"The trial attorneys?"

"Yes. I need you to bring him to their offices. We'll give him everything that he wants but I want a deposition with plenty of witnesses."

"When would you like him there?"

"Gimme an hour."

I hung up with Fred and called Rosie. "Sweetheart, I need you to lean on Bill Prendergast."

I could sense Rosie shifting her weight and putting a hand on her hip. "Want me to hurt em?"

I laughed. "No, Rosie, you only do that to people who aren't on our side."

Lost and found chapter 8

We looked like a caravan. In front, a Suburban full of security guys followed up by Michael and I in an ambulance with nurses following behind us and behind them more security guys. Too much security? Maybe...............maybe not.

It feels like too much and yes I know that I'm probably overreacting.................and yet.......there's something out there. Anyway, whether it's out there or not it's not getting Michael.............or me!

Ralph greeted this band of interlopers with his usual aplomb, shunting the security guys into the kitchen where they could plan assignments, Michael, I and the nurses went into the downstairs bedroom suite. Hey, way to go Rosie! A new king size adjustable bed was in the downstairs bedroom

"I don't think that you should ever be allowed to leave the house again." I had kicked everyone out of our bedroom and climbed, fully dressed, into bed with Michael. I leaned on my left elbow and watched his face. Normally he would be on the other side of the bed but this allowed me to be next to him without coming into contact with the damaged bits.

"Jeff, it was just an accident! A stupid accident." Yeah? Maybe. "Besides, I gotta work."

"You got a broken arm, a broken leg, multiple contusions and an addled brain. I hope that you're not drawing up contracts for my business."

He turned his head slowly on the pillow to face me. "Will I ever be well? I mean, it takes fucking forever for all this shit to heal."

I wanted to scream that I didn't care, that as far as I was concerned it could take ten years. He was safe with me, safe here in our house and that was all that mattered.

I pushed myself up and leaned over his face. I slowly lowered mine until our lips met and then I pushed my tongue into his mouth as he drew me in and sucked on my tongue. Slowly I broke the kiss and then spoke softly to him, trying to convince. "You don't need to worry about any of that stuff. You just gotta relax and get well. Who the fuck cares how long it takes for you to heal. Hmmm? You got the tv, your computer and any fucking thing on earth that you want. All you gotta do is rest and get well." It sounded logical to me. "Okay, so you gotta put up with me too but when you get a little better we can take off for anywhere on earth that you want to go. You can heal just as well on the beaches of Key West you know or Spain, you'd fucking love Spain."

Michael was looking at me with an indulgent smile on his face. "I'm not running!"

"Running? Who the fuck said anything about running? You know...........there's nothing to run from in the first place. This isn't about running, this is about healing. This is about warm tropical breezes blowing through open windows while we make love on clean white sheets and drink gin and tonics while we play gin rummy to while away the hours."

"Two things. First of all, Bullshit! Second of all, I'm not running!"

God, this is so irritating! Why can't people just do what I want them to do? "Oh God!' I dropped my head back on the pillow in frustration. "So you're gonna work? You're not healthy enough to work."

"I can still type. I can still talk on the phone."

"Michael, how the fuck are you gonna type, you've got a broken arm!"

He pointed at his left arm. "I can prop it up! I know.........I know I can." He dropped his arm and sagged back against the pillows. "I'm just tired right now."

I spoke softly. "Michael, you can't even get up to take a dump by yourself, be realistic."

Michael rubbed his eyes with the fingers of his right hand. "I know." Then he turned his head to me. "So will you help me?"

I hadn't even thought of it before but I answered quickly. "Of course! Whenever you need me to." He looked at me strangely and I asked. "You mean now?"

Michael gave me a lopsided grin. "I didn't have to go until you started talking about it! Anyway, I just need you to help me get up and then gimme one of those crutches." He nodded towards a pair of them that someone had leaned against the wall.

I shook my head. "I don't think so! There's no way that you can support yourself on a crutch. The arm that has to be used is broken." I jumped out of bed and grabbed the wheelchair.

"This is your best shot." I walked over to the other side of the bed and gently helped Michael turn so that he was sitting up.

His left arm and leg were pretty much useless and before taking my hand he looked up at me and said. "I'm sorry. Ah...........really, you didn't bargain for this."

I held his hand tightly. "Don't be a fucking idiot! You think that I care about this, that you need a little help? Don't ever say that again!" Michael opened his mouth and then shut it.

"Okay, when I pull you up we're gonna pivot you on your right foot and sit you down in the wheelchair. Got it?"

"Okay, yeah. But take it a little easy." One smooth pull up and Michael was standing. I pivoted him with one arm while positioning the wheel chair with the other and then slowly lowered him into it.

We just made it through the door of the bathroom, thanks mainly to the fact that when the house was being designed I was thinking of the problems my dad had experienced during his final days.

I wheeled Michael into the bathroom and over to the toilet and locked the wheels. "Okay, we'll do the same pivot thing. Just brace yourself on me."

I opened his robe and peeled it off of him and then pulled him up and while he balanced himself with a hand on my shoulder I opened his hospital gown pulled it forward and let it drop away. He's so beautiful, even beat up like this he's gorgeous. I reach forward and wrap my fingers around his cock.

Michael tenses up. "Oh God, be careful............you better not, I'm too fucking horny and I have to take a dump too bad."

I laughed. "Okay, when you get back to bed and things quiet down we can take care of that. What do you want me to do now?"

"Two things, help me down to the toilet and then make yourself scarce." While lowering him I decided to get someone in here later today to put in hand railings so that Michael would feel more secure and could even do this by himself if he had to. I would have hated being in his position of having to rely on someone for this.

"You got it, Babe, holler when you're ready." I ducked out of the bathroom closing the door behind me.

I called Rosie about the hand railings. She said that she'd have them up by the afternoon and asked about Michael.

"He's fine, he's..................in the john right now but he's fine." There was a soft knocking on the bedroom door and then a nurse poked her head in.

I waved at her. "Not now, I'll call you, he's in the john."

She pointed at the bathroom and whispered. "I should go help."

I put my hand on her arm. "No, leave him." I guided her toward the door while Rosie on the phone was in my other hand. "Give him time to adjust and we, he and I, need time together."

I sighed and put the phone to my ear. "He'll be okay, Rosie but, of course, he's frustrated and embarrassed. I mean, who the hell wouldn't be when you can't even take a crap by yourself?"

Rosie sounded disbelieving. "And you're helping him?"

"Of course I am. Why? You don't think that I can do this do you?"

"Welllllll, I guess it's just that I never seen it before. Boss you freaked out about that little boy who was in the office last week with a runny nose."

"Rosie, that was really disgusting! Anyway this is different! And don't ask me how the hell it's different it just is!"

She laughed and I was sure that she was shaking her head even if I couldn't see it. "If you say so, Boss." She shifted her tone of voice. "That guy called, that guy that has all those big machines and he wanted to know what you wanted him to do with the buildings on the old Halverson land. He says you told him to level it all but he figured he better make sure he heard you right. Says there's some decent buildings there."

"Down to the bare ground, Rosie. Tell him to do it just like we talked about."

"You got it, Boss."

Michael was calling me. "Gotta go, Rosie!"

He was standing, naked, holding on to the wheelchair but afraid to pivot. I ran over to him grabbing his robe on the way. I wrapped my arm around him and helped him put on the robe. Then I lowered him slowly into the wheel chair.

"Everything work out?"

He laughed. "Yeah...........it did. Actually it was all easier than I thought that it might be."

I helped him back into bed and I sat on the edge. I took his fingers in mine and held them. "You will get well you know. A week from now and most of this'll be just a bad memory."

"I won't be well in a week."

"No...........you won't but you'll be one hell of a lot better than you are now." I bent over and kissed him. I spoke softly. "Your career will still be there, people will still be suing each other, and I'll still love you! You will survive and a year from now you'll barely remember this."

It's funny how you can be having a conversation with someone and be totally into it and yet somewhere in the back of your brain there's like twenty brain cells working on another problem.

"I gotta call Rosie." I leaned over and stretching was able to grab the phone and punch in the numbers.

Seconds later. "Yes, Boss."

"Howdya know it was me?"

She answers. "You kiddin, right?"

I laugh, a bit confused. "Cash, Rosie, I want us to be thirty percent in cash by the end of the week."

"Boss, you do that and people gonna be pissed."

"Competitors, Rosie, screw em, this market is over it just doesn't know it yet."

Rosie said slowly. "Thirty percent?"

"Can you do it?"

"Sure...............just takes some doin is all. I'll start dribbling orders out in the Australian market, then a bunch in Japan and so on, yeah I can do it."

"And, Rosie, check with Fred Garagan and see what he's turned up. I haven't heard from him and with him that usually means he's on to something."

"I will boss. I'd rather talk to that man on the telephone than have to be in the same room with em."

"He won't bite, Rosie." Even I didn't believe that.

"Boss, he bites me an I give em back his teeth one at a time."

After hanging up with Rosie I turned back to Michael. "The guys are on their way to put in hand rails so that if you want to take a dump without the rest of the world waiting outside the door you can."

He turned his head on the pillow and tried to smile but it wasn't very convincing. "Thanks, Jeff."

I got on my knees on the bed and took his hand. "Baby, don't get all discouraged and nuts. I love you. This'll get better." I bent forward and kissed him. "It kills me to see you unhappy."

He smiled up at me grimly. "You're ruining the crease in the pants of my favorite suit."

My arms are braced on either side of his head and I bend down and kiss him again more slowly this time. I whisper to him. "I love you in this suit. I love the way your cock looks in this suit. But then I love you."

He looks at me with big eyes. "Jeff, I'm feeling really sorry for myself right now and if you say stuff like that I'm gonna start crying or some shit and I might not stop."

I sit back on my haunches. "Well I got some info for you that ought to straighten that mood out." I climb off of the bed and begin moving for the door. "The nurses have been chomping at the bit to get at you." I open the bedroom door. "He's all yours ladies." Three of them come pouring in and rush to Michael's bedside while he drops his head resignedly back against the pillows.

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Ralph was in the kitchen cooking and looking past him through the kitchen window I could see a small trailer that had been set up near the end of the driveway as a type of command post for the security guys.

I nodded towards the trailer and asked Ralph. "They behaving themselves?"

Ralph chuckled. "Pretty much. Anyway I'm used to em. Your daddy used to have them from time to time. You makin decision about other peoples money and somebody's always mad."

I grabbed a cup of coffee and leaned against the counter as Ralph continued.

"He was managing a bunch of money for some mob guy back in the seventies. Well, course your daddy didn't know that the guy was with the mob, not that it woulda made any difference. The thing was that all during the seventies when the market was totally in the garbage your daddy was able to earn a steady eight percent return, not only for this dude but for all his clients but it wasn't enough for the gangster and he was always threatening your dad."

I was surprised I had never heard this. "Ralph, my dad never told me about that. I don't remember anything happening."

Ralph laughed. "You was too little and besides your dad didn't want his family knowing about stuff like that but there was plenty of security. You and your momma was followed everyplace. Anyway, it only means that I'm used to it."

Ralph lifted the heavy cover of a large cast iron pot and stirred the contents. "I'm makin a beef stew for you boys. I figure with only one hand that he can use it'd be better for Mr. Worthington. Man would get tired pretty quick of havin other people feed him."

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Later that evening I made it clear to the nurses that Michael and I were going to be sleeping together and that if we needed them I would call them. They can't help it. They're programmed to be constantly checking on their patients.

But not tonight, tonight was my first night really alone with Michael since the accident and I didn't want any interruptions. Michael was lying in bed watching television as I walked around turning off all the lights except one coming from the bathroom.

After that I started taking off my clothes and I saw that Michael was watching my every move. When I was naked I climbed into bed with him and pulled back the covers while I knelt and sat on my heels looking down at his battered body.

He reached over with his one good hand, his right and gently wrapped it around my hard cock. I leaned forward and gently, holding his chin in my hand, pressed my lips to his and when they parted sucked his tongue into my mouth. He groaned and at the same time I saw tears forming in his eyes.

I whisper to him. "Don't fucking cry, Baby. It kills me to see you cry."

Michael let go of my dick and wiped the tears away. He tried to laugh. ‘It's just that it feels so good to hold your cock again and," He started to choke up again. "to have you kiss me." He reached out and touched my face with the tips of his fingers and then wiped away more tears.

"I thought...................I thought, when I was lying there in the hospital that there was no fucking way that you bargained for this, that you might just as soon be rid of me." I started to speak but he stopped me by pressing his fingers to my lips.

He spoke in a rush the words spilling out. "I know that it was stupid. I know that you'd never do that. But when I was lying there in the ICU and the fucking pain was really bad and then there were a lot of drugs that stopped the pain but really messed with my head. And all that I could think of was what would I do if you just never showed up. And the more that I thought about it the more that it seemed logical. Why would you want me? Your young, your handsome, your rich, you can have anyone. Why would you want a broken boyfriend?"

I understood what Michael was saying but I the same time it made me nuts. I straddled his one good leg and let my still hard cock bounce against it.

"You know, Michael, you're young and you're handsome and as you've pointed out before you're an attorney which is not exactly dog meat." I pushed my cock down against his leg and gently thrust my cock back and forth.

"I didn't say that there was any sense to it, Jeff. And by the way you're driving me crazy with that cock."

I leaned forward again and kissed him softly and then whispered to him. "I love you and while you were worrying about that stuff I was worrying that you were gonna die." I smiled at him. "I guess that were both jerks."

I grinned at him. "So you're probably horny?"

He laughed and it made me feel wonderful. "You have no fucking idea!"